The Penis Army: My Sister’s Bachelorette Party

This past weekend we threw my sister Theresa her bachelorette party in Chicago.  Three occurrences made me appreciate the attitude of always finding a silver lining and relying on the kindness of strangers and how typically, people don’t change.

My flight out of La Guardia was delayed by four hours on Thursday night.  With no Wi-Fi and therefore nothing to do, I walked inside one of the two “bars” in the Southwest Terminal.   It was pretending to be a petite version of a Hard Rock Café (Queens Edition).  Many flights were delayed that night because of all the thunderstorms so the bar was crowded.  A blonde girl offered for me to sit with her and two hours, two Bloody Marys and one glass of Pinot grigio later, I have a new-found friend Sophie from Montreal who and still has an accent and works in finance.

On Saturday night myself, my sister Deborah (unmarried but with boyfriends), Kate (married), Jennifer (married and a baby) and Theresa (bride to be) are driving to downtown Chicago for dinner.  Deborah and I were amusing ourselves with the baby toys we would discover in the backseat of Jennifer’s SUV.  My favorite was a rubber ducky wearing a sheep costume.  “Sheep duck!” I screamed.  All of sudden, Kate gets a call from another girl who already arrived at the restaurant – it had been closed for health inspections.  One kind valet and a sympathetic hostess later, we got a reservation for ten at Emilio’s at 7:30 pm on a Saturday night in downtown Chicago. The octopus and the goat cheese and fruit platter were great, but I could have made better sangria with Livingston Cabernet and lemonade.

At around 3:00 am, we were putting Theresa to bed.  Having scraped her knee, Deborah and I were asking what she needed to “make it all better.”  She specifically requests “the ladybug icepack.”  Running downstairs, I did indeed find a lady bug ice pack in the freezer of my twenty-seven year old engaged sister,  who happened to be  stating at this time that she had a doctorate and should behave more responsibly in front of her sisters.  No matter how quickly the years go by or how grown up we all are, my sister Theresa will always insist on behaving responsibly for her sisters so she can remain an example.

And no matter how many years go by or how we wish we weren’t so grown up, after this weekend Theresa will probably never want to go out with her girlfriends again – which is the point of bachelorette parties anyway.


Side note – I need a new digital camera desperately (if you couldn’t tell by the low quality picture from my Blackberry) – any suggestions?

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