"I love eating locusts, it gets me high"

I acknowledge there is cultural confusion and barriers we must live with. My French teacher for this semester is eccentric and loud and has invented her own version of a French accent. This means of course that she is amazing and worth listening to.

However, today while reviewing the verb “faire” (to do), she pauses and tells us this story:

“When I was a little girl in France, I used to love cooking locusts. You call them grasshoppers. I would take my bed sheet and tie the corners to make a pouch. I would then run run run outside and catch all the locusts since they are so low. Then, I would go and boil a large pot, like for lobster, with water and a little salt. Then I would quickly quickly quickly pour all the locusts and put the lid on! For they like to jump OUT. After five minutes I would take all the greasy locusts under a tree. I eat them like you would eat french fries. First you pull off the part of the legs below the knees, for I do not like for them to get stuck in my teeth. Then I would pull of the wings for they do not taste good. Then the antennas I would pull out for I do not like them to get stuck in my teeth. And then, in they go. They are delicious. I am always so sad because at Jones Beach they are too skinny and I can never catch enough.”

A girl raises her hand innocently and asks “You do know that’s illegal…”

“What? I do not want to break the law!”

“No, they are an endangered species.”

“Oh no….”

The girl raises her hand again and asks “Is this something normal in traditional French culture or just a personal preference?”

“Oh, you do not know what you are missing.”

That was my day so far.

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